


Nightmare! the Musical: "No More Mr. Nice Guy"

by tranimation



Category: Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-10
Updated: 2013-12-10
Packaged: 2018-01-04 06:17:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1077605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tranimation/pseuds/tranimation
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Presenting NIGHTMARE! THE MUSICAL, Freddy Krueger goes into a rageful song-and-slaughter after losing custody of his daughter. Canonical (to the Englund franchise): Horror/Parody: Complete. Rated M for violence and sexuality.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nightmare! the Musical: "No More Mr. Nice Guy"

**Author's Note:**

> I've been helping co-write my friend Abri Isgrig's (4eyeswordsmith.tumblr.com) story, INNOCENT DEMON, which is a re-invention of life of Freddy Krueger before was "killed" by the parents of Springwood. As we're both lovers of musical theatre, it was she thought up a NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET musical as a joke. I screamed, "That's awesome! I would pay to see this! We should totally do this!" So we knocked our heads together to make this a reality, based on the films (specifically DREAM CHILD, FREDDY'S DEAD, and intro to FREDDY VS. JASON), the FREDDY'S NIGHTMARES TV series, our own pastiches, and personal theories about the character. Robert Englund is such a ham that it's not that far off to see him randomly belt out in song; he had already done this for Fat Boys' "Are You Ready For Freddy?" rap video, if you recall.
> 
> Understand that I don't know anything about music composition, but I do know poetry and enough general knowledge about musicology to muddle my way through, learning more as I go, along with a handy-dandy rhyming dictionary at hand and a ton of patience.
> 
> NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET © Wes Craven/New Line Cinema  
> "No More Mr. Nice Guy" (original song) © Alice Cooper, with additional lyrics by Diane N. Tran

**SONG TYPE** : Rock

**SCENE PLAYER(S)** :  
\- Freddy Krueger, the murderer  
\- Katherine Krueger, his six-year-old daughter  
\- Child custody lawyer  
\- Prepubescents (three to five)  
\- Male chorus (offstage)

* * *

 _Outside the federal courts,_ FREDDY KRUEGER _has gotten free from his murder trail due to a technicality. He should be pleased, but isn't because he looses custody of his six-year-old daughter,_ KATHERINE KRUEGER _, and after a tearful goodbye, she is taken away by a_ CHILD CUSTODY LAWYER supplied by the city. KATHERINE _hugs close a teddy bear, which has long stitches across its belly, a souvenir from a previous kill of his, which he begrudgingly gave to his daughter because she wanted it_ _._

_She drops the teddy bear accidentally before exiting offstage, but_ _law_ _yer turns_ _stops to pick up the teddy bear, notices the stitches, and throws the bear at the alleged Springwood Slasher._

  
**CHILD CUSTODY LAWYER** ( _spoken spitefully_ ):  
Burn in hell, Krueger!

_Exit_ LAWYER. _Picking up the stuffed bear,_ FREDDY _silently contemplates his situation and concern that be may never see his daughter again, as he traces the stitches with his fingers. Spotlight on him, alone, a flood of emotions boil over within him._

  
**FREDDY** ( _sung mournfully_ ):  
Oh, you always were such a sweet, sweet thing  
So young and free  
I stand here all helpless to see you stolen away  
My lil' princess-to-be  
Don't you believe what they say in those papers  
That you can't be seen ... with me  
And I'm gettin' real shot down  
And I'm ... feelin' mean

  
**FREDDY, CHORUS** ( _sung violently_ ):  
I'm sayin', no more Mister Nice Guy  
No more Mister Cl-e-e-ean  
No more Mister Nice Guy  
They say, I'm sick, I'm obsc-e-e-ne

_He throws the bear offstage in a fury; he puts on his hat and razor glove._

  
**FREDDY** ( _spoken_ ):  
They don't know me very well  
I'm just a sweetheart

  
**FREDDY** ( _sung_ ):  
Don't you believe what they say in those papers  
Now you can't be seen ... with me  
And I'm feelin' real shot down  
And I'm ... gettin' mean

  
**FREDDY, CHORUS** :  
Singin', no more Mister Nice Guy  
No more Mister Cl-e-e-ean  
No more Mister Nice Guy  
They say, I'm sick, I'm obsc-e-e-ene

_He hungrily stalks to stage right where a small group of naughty PREPUBESCENTS, wearing school jerseys, with a basketball at their feet, as they ca_ _utiously light cigarettes, sip beer, and stare into the centerfold of a_ Playboy _magazine._

  
**FREDDY** :  
I wandered through the streets that night  
And somethin' caught my eye

  
**CHORUS** :  
Nice guy

  
**FREDDY** :  
Daddy snuck amongst the parks and playgrounds  
Blades wavin' high  
I hid behind incognito  
I arrived and rose ... the Springwood Slasher  
Tipped his hat and slashed 'em 'cross the nose

  
**FREDDY** ( _spoken_ ):  
Laughin', no more ... nice guy!

  
**FREDDY, CHORUS** :  
No more Mister Nice Guy  
No more Mister Cl-e-e-ean  
No more Mister Nice Guy  
I say, I'm sick, I'm obsc-e-e-ne

Screamin', no more Mister Nice Guy  
No more Mister Cl-e-e-ean  
No more Mister Nice Guy  
Baby, I'm sick, I'm obsc-e-e-ne  
E-e-e, e-e-e, e-e-e-ne

_He steals the cigarette from the lips of one of the disemboweled victims, takes a long drag, and exhales a heavy, heavenly sigh and cold chuckle._

  
**FREDDY** ( _spoken_ ):  
How sweet — Fresh meat

_He undoes his pants and turns his back to audience, facing the dead children, as the stage goes dark._

  
**CHORUS** ( _sung_ ):  
Nice guy, yeah!

_End scene._


End file.
